You ever feel like Democrats are playing checkers while MAGA is out here playing 3D chess on a unicycle? Yeah… that’s what’s happening when it comes to messaging. It’s not just annoying, it’s actively keeping the people we need to reach from hearing the truth.
Let’s start with the obvious one: living in someone else’s reality.
Take sanctuary state debates. MAGA says, “If you don’t follow our rules, people will suffer.” Yet, somehow, Oregonians echo that: “Oregon is hurting its own citizens.” Whoa. Wait a minute. Let’s be clear. The suffering doesn’t come from the governor standing up, it comes from the administration making compliance conditional. Saying otherwise is like blaming someone for ducking a punch. I’m not here to defend every choice Tina Kotek has made. But she’s doing exactly what we elected her to do in this instance.
This is classic DARVO messaging. Abuse survivors, those with narcissistic parents will recognize this:
Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender. Yes, it’s as manipulative as it sounds. MAGA is the one issuing the threat, but the narrative flips, & suddenly the #resistance looks like the problem. If Democrats buy into that frame, they’re not just losing, they’re helping spin the story against the people they represent.
Letting framing dictate the story.
We see it all the time. Trans rights? Framed as a sports issue. Immigrants? Framed as “hardworking” instead of having as much a right to exist as any other human, regardless of ability to work. The echoes of the boots marching next to the disabled are deafening for those of us breathlessly awaiting being consigned to death panels, Medicaid work requirements. The framing is a trap: it means we’re simply amplifying their narrative.
I’m a devotee of Anat Shenker-Osorio & the 3Vs that she talks about, Value, Villain, Vision don’t work if we’re telling MAGA’s story. We have to reframe the issue, ground it in reality. Get people on board by agreeing on something together, plainly call out the party responsible for that not being a universal thing, & lay out what it is we progressives are actually asking for.
Then there’s the spreadsheet problem. Yeah, budgets, funding threats, & conditional grants are real, but walking around quoting numbers like a robot doesn’t connect with people. People don’t wake up thinking, “I hope Oregon gets its $15 billion in federal grants today.” They wake up thinking about how bills are going to get paid, whether their kids are safe, whether their neighbors are protected. Numbers matter for policy wonks, but stories matter for everyone else. Not every post has to be a call to action, it can be about commiserating about the reality facing us today. A simple reminder that we are not all alone in thinking making the world a better place should be the goal.
So what’s the result of these mistakes? People feel disconnected, scared, or disoriented. The very communities we’re trying to reach, the essential workers, mutual aid networks, immigrants, LGBTQ folks, everyday voters, don’t feel like they can trust anyone to tell it like it is. And that vacuum? That’s where MAGA thrives. They can spin any threat, flip any narrative, & people start to live in their fear-soaked world instead of reality.
Here’s the takeaway:
Stop living in someone else’s reality. Threats are threats, not facts.
Stop letting the trolls scare you into silence.
Name the manipulation. Don’t repeat it as truth.
Center people & stories over numbers & framing. That’s how we connect, inform, & build strength to resist.
Next up, Part 2, we’ll talk about tone policing & pearl clutching, & how “being polite” often silences the voices we need most. Because, spoiler: anger isn’t the problem. Fear, confusion, & silence are.
~AK
a valuable reminder ... and I totally agree about Anat Shenker-Osario!