How to Make a Selfie Video That Doesn’t Suck
(& Actually Connects)
Here’s the deal: if you’re showing up on camera, whether it’s to rally your community, share a beloved recipe, or just weigh in on a hot topic, you want it to feel real. Not like you’re auditioning for QVC, not like you’re giving a book report. Like you’re talking to someone. That means tossing out a lot of outdated advice & making room for what actually works now, in 2025. That also means, times have a changed, cuz those I coached 20 years ago will tell you I was a “PUT YOUR PHONE IN LANDSCAPE MODE OMG” devotee.
1. Vertical is the new default
Old school advice said to record video horizontally. Forget that. Most folks are watching on their phones, which means vertical orientation is king. It is what it is. TVs & cinema screens are the new silent movies & black and white films. Unless you’re filming for YouTube or a cinematic trailer, turn your phone upright & meet your audience where they are, in the feed. When in doubt? Film far enough back that you can be centered in a vertical framing if needed. Easy peasy. But you’re gonna need a couple things:
2. You don’t need fancy gear, but you do need the basics
A cheap lapel mic (you can find solid ones under $25) will instantly level up your sound. It’s worth it the first time you avoid echo, wind, or background noise. If you’re giving a speech or there’s any event noise, you’ll need a sound tech to get usable audio out of it.
A desk or standing tripod keeps your shot stable & frees your hands.
Stand up if you can. Being upright (at your kitchen island, a podium, or just in frame from the chest up) adds energy & presence. You’ll naturally move your upper torso & arms more. Don’t avoid your trademark looks, eye rolls, the facial expression those who know you best recognize? Be you.
Light matters. Natural light from a window works great. No window? Grab a ring light or desk lamp & aim for front lighting to avoid harsh shadows.
Pay attention to your background. Avoid using fake background filters, the synthetic nature of them kills the emotional connection you’d otherwise be cultivating. If lighting is low, don’t stand against dark doors, bookshelves or darkened rooms.
Photo by Nubelson Fernandes on Unsplash
3. Eye contact makes it personal
People scroll past videos that feel distant or robotic. One easy fix: eye contact.
If you’re using a webcam, don’t stare down at a script. Resize your window with your notes across the top of your screen, just under the camera. Use two columns if needed so your eyes stay near the lens. The goal is to look like you’re talking with people, not at them.
4. Keep it short (seriously, SHORT)
Practice until you can answer a question in 12 to 18 seconds. Most platforms limit video length based on one thing: attention spans. The average watch time is tiny. Like, 3-5 seconds tiny unless you hook people. So get to the point fast. Long-winded intros are swiped before you ever got to the crux of the matter.
Thirty seconds is better than three minutes unless you're walking someone through something really nuanced or technical. Think TV commercials. They’ve spent billions proving what works.
Use your phone’s stopwatch & practice what you want to say. Get that muscle memory. If you’ve got a limited window to record things, bring a couple clothing accessories to switch things up. Change shirts or hair styles. Make evergreen clips that can be stitched to future videos. Quick intros & outros, behind the scenes clips to use as b-roll when needed. Don’t worry, if you’re getting this deep into making selfie videos, all of this will make more sense.
5. Captions aren’t optional
Not only do around 6% of Americans have hearing loss, but 86% of social media videos are watched on mute. That means if your message isn’t readable, it’s skippable.
Use apps like Canva, CapCut, or Clips to add captions easily. Canva is my personal favorite. I’m thrilled the technology isn’t as paywalled as it used to be. There’s literally no reason not to take the time to make your content more accessible. And don’t forget your headline. Your caption or on-screen title should clearly say what the video is about, like a news chyron. Give people a reason to stop scrolling.
6. Be a person, not a pitch
Ditch the monotone. Don’t stand frozen. Practice until you feel natural, like you’re explaining something to a friend over coffee.
Let your voice rise & fall. Let your face move. Smile when it fits. Pause. Laugh. Get mad if that’s what the moment calls for. Whatever you do, make sure it feels like you. No one wants a customer service voice. They want authenticity.
Dress how you would if you were out running errands or meeting up with friends. Brush your hair, yes, but don’t overthink it. Don’t stiffen up just because there’s a camera in front of you. The magic is in the human-ness.
We can smell fake from a mile away. But when you speak like you’re in it with us? When you look us in the eye & make us feel something? That’s the stuff people remember.
So grab your phone. Find your light. Say the thing. And if you screw it up? Hit record again. That’s the beauty of video, you only need one take to land.
You’ve got something worth saying. Say it like you mean it.
Oh, & btw, if you’re intending to do this & use your powers for good? I’ll do a 1 hour Zoom call with you to walk you through a few more things & answer any questions I can. This is what I can offer the resistance.
~AK